Seriously, Satire

HAVE THE THEORIES BECOME TRUE?
Researchers in New Mexico have begun creating dead bird drones.

KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM
These people need their memory wiped after prom.

AWFULLY TALKATIVE
Another husband who loves to explain.

HARD AT WORK, OR SECRETLY WATCHING VIDEOS
Need a new show to watch?

WELFARE OR FAREWELL
Come meet the animals of the National Welfare Zoo.

HOMEWORK GONE WRONG
Who knew homework was such a sensitive topic?

SUGAR HIGH OR HIGH IN THE SUGAR
Teenager accidentally wanders into a weed dispensary.

RIZZLESS
Teen suffers rizz attack.