Need a new show to watch?


Aubrey Cruson

The competitors hard at work.

Have you ever wanted to watch a cooking show (just like the other 500 already produced)? Well this hot, new cooking show will be sure to fill your craving. Whether at work, on the go, cooking dinner, or even taking a bath, this cooking show will be unlike any other. The feisty competitors and exotic ingredients will be sure to entice you into the dramatics of the show. 

The local prince of the town, Chad Charming, applied as a host to the brand new cooking show: Hardly Cooking or Cooking Hardly. This cooking show is completely different from the rest: it has a conventionally attractive male host (with little to no credentials). 

He told me
this was my place
as a woman or something.

“Yeah, I figured this would be a pretty fun gig. I didn’t actually think I would get the position, but now I can brag to my friends. They all thought I would just become a local nobody, just another ‘small town boy, livin’ in a lonely world’.” Mr. Charming broke out into song with his ear-piercing voice. 

The cooking show takes place in…you guessed it, California. Where the sun is bright but the people aren’t. This is the most expensive place to be, which is why they all move to your hometowns and raise the prices. Just for you!

The production for Charming’s show will begin starting tomorrow; however, the first season will not be posted until 2028, five years from now. The second season will be made at the same time as the first season, but will not be posted until ten years from now. 

The cast will consist of four people to start; with each round, one competitor will be eliminated.Jessica, the youngest competitor, will hopefully get the chance to show off her great kitchen skills.

“Ugh, I don’t know, my dad just forced me to do it. He told me this was my place as a woman or something. He also told me to tell the judges my mom died, but she’s alive- she’s just living in New York. Which he said was basically worse.”

David, a middle-aged man who claims to be famous, will enlighten the audience with his charisma and “witty” remarks. “I’m just here because my agent told me to be. Supposedly cooking shows have been popular lately. We’ll see.”

Bethany, a family-oriented woman, will give the audience that warm feeling and the judges a taste of home through her cooking.“I just started my own business, and I figured this would help me while I try to make it through the slow start. I mean, it’s been so hard these past few months. The bank is barely letting us take out loans. I swear I have a good credit score. A credit score of 300 is good… right? My mother just got diagnosed with cancer which means my whole family stops functioning and all our money somehow disappears, and to make matters worse my baby daddy just left me again.”

Sharon, a proud vegan, wants to express to the world that cooking can be more “creative” than just eating animal products.“This was the only show that listed tags that said they were completely and totally environmentally friendly. If they don’t let me use my vegan options rather than the weird mystery meat they give, my lawyer is just a phone call away.”

Hardly Cooking or Cooking Hardly is changing the game with their wide range of contestants. The show seems like it will be a hit, bringing in plenty of entertainment and drama (which seems to be the only popular genre to watch). 

Chad Charming can’t wait for his new job and will be more than happy to stand around and watch everyone else do the laboring work. He stated earlier that his favorite part so far is “getting all prettied up and looking intently at the camera”.

Only five more years until it can be watched. 

Can’t wait.