Seriously, Satire

COACHES TO BLAME AFTER STUDENTS PROVE THEY CAN’T HANDLE THEMSELVES
Global Grad students set hotel microwave on fire

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR WOMEN DRIVERS
Curb badly injured by psychotic woman driver

CHRISTMAS IS CREEPING IN SOONER THAN MOST WOULD LIKE
She’s defrosting!

ZOMBIED STUDENTS DISAPPEAR
Zombified students slowly stop showing up to class

WOMAN FORCED TO GIVE BIRTH TO A DEVIL
A young woman was forced into pregnancy by her husband to a terrible child

LOCAL TEENAGER INTENSELY BULLIED AT SCHOOL
Teenager bullied for sitting at a desk

WHY AREN’T OLD PEOPLE DYING?
Grandmother is still alive with a punctured kidney

TAYLOR SWIFT FANS CONQUER THE AMC
AMC employees are preparing for the worst as the Eras tour approaches

DRUNKEN VACATION
Two fallen passengers after a drunken dare

SMOTHERING MOTHERS
Is a little space too much to ask?

BULLET GONE WILD
He was hoping to find a better home.

WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Unlimited internet access: that’s exactly what kids want.