A peer into my mind that you didn’t ask for


Aubrey Cruson

Strange depictions of Andrew’s strange brain

DISCLAIMER: This post contains depictions of kidnapping, cannibalism, and other instances of violence.

I’m asleep, or maybe I’m not, but it’s dark and warm in here, and it’s also…wet? Or maybe the room is just sticky? I’m not sure, but it definitely doesn’t feel normal in this room. Is this a room? Where am I? It’s now occurring to me that the reason I can’t see is because my eyes are closed. I should open them but I sort of don’t want to; I’m cozy this way and I’m afraid of what I’ll see. 

I open my eyes anyway. 

Suddenly my senses are assaulted, a flash of light blinds me and I am very aware of how slippery everything is. Once the light fades, I come to the conclusion that the slippery stuff is blood…I’m cuddled up in a puddle of blood. 

I scream. 

Then I manage to stop and breathe. I try to take in my surroundings. The room I seem to be in is fleshy looking? The walls are pink and squishy with grooves in them and everything, and I mean everything, is covered in blood. Ahead of me I see a veiny looking tunnel that I decide to accept as a doorway. 

None of this seems to help me understand where I am or how I got here, but I decide to exit the room. I hope that this is all some messed up prank or that I fell asleep in a haunted house of some kind. 

I walk through the door/tunnel for some time until I reach a large, albeit still squishy but less bloody room. Here, I see a myriad of things. There are stacks of papers all over the place littered across the room and they are being haphazardly organized by these..blob looking things? I don’t know…they’re black and small with no discernible features; they’re blobs. Some of them are stacking papers in enormous towers while others seem to be searching for specifics. 

Amidst the blobs I see several more doorways, above each door there is a label. They are all in english. Thank god something I can understand. The first door to catch my eye is labeled “Dreams”; it’s located between “Ear Worm” and “Bad Ideas”. 

I wonder if this is some sort of strange performance art experience I was drugged into doing. 

None of the blobs are paying attention to me and I don’t particularly feel like interrupting whatever it is they are doing. I figure, if I just wander long enough, I’ll find an exit from this flesh-made hell hole. 

“Dreams seem interesting enough” I mumble to myself. 

I make my way through the veiny hallway until I enter a pristine white space. Everything is clean and simple looking and there are hundreds of small colorful cubes stacked against the walls. The colors of the cubes range from deep reds to bright purples. There is, however, one block aside from the rest, it looks as if it’s fallen from the stacks. 

It’s small, around the size of a baseball, and it’s a bright red color, like paint. I pick it up hoping to easily transport it back to the stacks. Then within a second I am somewhere new. 

I’m in a dirty basement that is void of furniture with the exception of the chair I am currently tied to. I go to scream yet again, but no noise comes out. I don’t think I can do anything, I don’t seem to be in control of my own body. I am simply spectating as my body begins to struggle and untie itself. 

After some time, I manage to free myself from the chair and I immediately begin wandering. This house is dark, dirty, and completely abandoned. It becomes apparent to me that I am searching for something, and doing so frantically. I’m all caught up in this scenario when finally I find what I was looking for, it’s my little brother.

Well he was my little brother. 

I’m so revolted and frightened by what I see. It’s too much to handle, my baby brother, just ten years old, is dead. I’ll spare you some of the gory details but to put it lightly he’s like the stuffed pig in the center of a feast. There are several men who stand around this disgusting display covered in blood. Their bulging eyes all turn to me at once and they smile with blood coated teeth. 

They ATE him. 

My body vomits profusely as one of the men grabs me and drags me close to the table; I don’t even struggle, I’m so shocked. I’m not even paying attention when the man holding me begins to speak. He then pulls out what looks like those toy chatting teeth that you wind up, but these ones are covered in human remnants. I know somehow that these are the teeth of my brother. 

I’m so struck with grief, fear, and revulsion I almost don’t hear the man instruct me to EAT THE TEETH. 

I black out. 

And now I’m back in the room with all of the cubes. The red block lays on the floor, I must have dropped it. I don’t even dare to touch it again. 

I think I finally understand where I am now. I’m in my own brain. I don’t know how, but I definitely just experienced my own nightmare, and the walls do look awfully brain like now that I think about it. 

I can’t explain how I’m here or why but I feel the overwhelming urge to explore further and get the heck out of the dream room. I make my way through the tunnels until I reach what I guess is headquarters? I take a closer look at my options, “Bad Ideas”,  “Junk Drawer”, “3 a.m. thoughts” and “Earworm”. 

I think I’d like to meet the guy who refuses to let me sit in silence, so I head to ear worm.