Seriously, Satire
THE ABSOLUTE MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION: WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT THE SPARTAN SCOOP
Twenty-four teenagers versus one grown-up teenager in some punk kid’s bedroom, engaged in a battle of wills
AMERICA V. AMERICA
Current president challenges recently resurrected president to duel over fate of US
WINTER? I HARDLY KNOW ‘ER
A comprehensive and entirely intellectual guide to surviving Montana winters
MONTANA HIGH SCHOOL INTRODUCES GORY NEW ELECTIVE
Parents and students are reacting to a new class created to teach kids defense against the zombie apocalypse
KAT HAS ANSWERS
A teenager’s interview with a different self
AMERICA FINALLY CONFIDENT IN SHADOW’S CAMPAIGN
Citizens all over the country are writing the same name on their ballot, regardless of political party
NEW GRAVEYARD HAUNTING SENTINEL’S CAMPUS
The new graveyard loses popularity contest to the coffee cart
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE GETS AWAY WITH CRIMES
Crimes committed by one of the leading candidates flies under the radar
CHARGES DROPPED ON MAN WHO MURDERED HIS WIFE
Last week the man’s trial was held to reveal his punishment
“STRANGE MARINE REPTILE” UNVEILED WITH MORE FOUND FOSSILS
The “new discovery” that’s not so new has scientists in a frenzy
RICH MAN CREATES BRAIN CHIP FOR “BRAINLESS MONKEYS”
Melon Eusk engineered implant to be put in the human brain
SENTENCED MAN WANTED A HUG
A man sentenced to life in prison was so happy, he couldn’t control his joy