The darkness of Anorexia Nervosa


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Woman looking in the mirror

It is not just about the amount of calories. It is not just about the meals skipped. It is not just about the food someone eats. Anorexia Nervosa is a terrible and dark mental illness. It is so far beyond an unhealthy relationship with food. Anorexia doesn’t just starve a person to the edge of death, it completely destroys how a person perceives the world.

Their self perception
is so foggy
that they do
not see how
close they are
to death.

Anorexia Nervosa is a mental illness in which a person is overly fixated on their body image. They perceive themselves as overweight and may be overly worried about their calorie intake and how much they eat. 

Anorexia can be split into two different categories. Restrictive is when the person is stopping from eating amounts of food and really limiting what goes into their body. The other type is binge-purge, this is when the person will typically starve themselves and follow it with an unhealthy amount of food at a given time which they will later then throw up in order to remove all the food from their body. 

Anorexia does not come out of the blue to someone. The illness typically comes from a serious event or deep rooted trauma. The illness affects mostly women from the ages 12 to 25 however that’s not to say Anorexia cannot affect someone from any demographic. Anorexia has the highest mortality out of any mental illness. 

Not only is Anorexia Nervosa a horrible mental illness, it coincides with a lot of other mental illnesses as well. Depression, Suicide, OCD, and PTSD can come hand in hand with Anorexia. What can spark an eating disorder is body dysmorphia, which is the mind’s flawed images of someone’s figure that are unrealistic to others. 

People with Anorexia fail to see themselves for who they are. They are completely incognizant of what they really look like. It is like their whole mindset is downright obscured. The trauma takes over their mind leaving them in denial of the reality of their situation. Anorexia becomes extremely dangerous, they live on the brink of death every day. 

A person who is battling this illness may be extremely controlling of what they eat. They could be focusing on the numbers of calories, meals, or even amount of bites they take in a day. 

Anorexia has that hyperfixation on numbers. People who have the illness feel as if they have control of their figure, food, and self perception. At any weight, people with Anorexia view their body as overweight and not “perfect”

The mental gymnastics that people with Anorexia go through are so terrible and completely destroy them. They constantly find a way to put themselves down and it leaves themselves with self hatred. It can feel like an immense pressure to exist since consuming food is such a necessity, and with starvation, the body kills itself. 

The act of getting on the scale and looking into the mirror is such a dark experience for people with Anorexia. Their mind gets filled with negative thoughts that just get progressively worse and harsher. Trying to keep up with daily activities becomes so difficult from waking up, to seeing food, to having cravings and seeing others eating evokes that desire to control their weight and physique. 

What does Anorexia really do to the body ignoring the mental side of the illness? Anorexia sends the entire body into a breakdown. The start of the problem comes from the lack of food being digested. The body can’t get food any more and it will cause a deprivation of energy. Fat and sugar are then targeted to get that energy you need to survive. When someone is starved for so long it starts a whole chain of problems. 

A person can experience multiple changes to their physique. The first notable change would be massive amounts of weight loss and a loss of appetite. Malnutrition will make the person feel extremely tired as well as weaken their muscles. The person may feel typically colder and have a loss of concentration.

Food keeps humans alive and it is a basic necessity so not only do our bodies deteriorate, but it can negatively affect the mind. Not eating meals or snacking can cause mood swings and lack of motivation. 

Anorexia Nervosa recovery is so extremely difficult. On the physical health side, malnutrition can not be solved easily by eating tons of food. The body is not used to eating food so it can make people more sick when there is a sudden change in diet. 

Getting to understand Anorexia as a mental illness is a completely different side of recovery. People with Anorexia cannot compare themselves to others realistically. Their mind is so lost it’s hard to get past the tunnel vision. It’s really difficult for them to see through the way they perceive themselves in their mind. 

Comparisons are hard, it takes a really good visual to see through their mental image of themselves. Their self perception is so foggy that they do not see how close they are to death. In many instances of Anorexia, it takes measurements or diagrams to show them physically how ill they really are.

Anorexia can be cured and helped. Almost always, all the effects are reversible and the person can make a full recovery. However it is easy to relapse. A person with Anorexia could recover their body by gaining weight and staying healthy, yet mental health is harder to heal. All the focus is built on negative hyperfixation of their figure The terrible conditions of Anorexia can still haunt people who have experienced this illness. 

Overall Anorexia isn’t just about being skinny and not eating food, this illness completely destroys one’s mind. This illness changes how a person perceives daily activities and themselves. It starts from a fault of trauma and it evolves into a control issue. People with this illness become closer to death each day. It is very dangerous and harmful to let eating disorders like Anorexia Nervosa continue to develop. Make sure that anyone who may be suffering is getting the severe help they need because it goes deeper than just skipping meals.


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