TOP TEN FLORIDA MEN

My Top 10 Florida Man Stories

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Drawing of Florida Man With Alligator

1. Florida man uses taco as ID after his car lights on fire in taco bell parking lot

A drunk man was on his 4th meal and had fallen asleep with his foot on the acceleration causing the engine to heat up and light on fire. He was in fact arrested, not for false identity though, for a DUI. 

2.Florida man drives stolen truck to Space Force base to warn about a war between aliens and dragons. He claimed that he was sent by the president to warn everyone of the attack. He claimed that the president told him  using telepathy. He didn’t go through a lot of questioning, but he was quickly arrested for theft. Surprised? I wasn’t. 

3.Florida man said he was trying to time travel by crashing his car into a mall. 

Who knows what his thought process was, but he definitely let his intrusive thoughts win. There are MULTIPLE attempts made by different people (all in Florida) to time travel this way, none of which succeeded. 

4.Florida man charged with assault with deadly weapon after throwing alligator through Wendy’s drive-through window. This post was spread throughout social media quickly. There was no concern for the people behind the window, but people said they were sorry for the alligator. How did he get from wherever the alligator was to Wendy’s without getting bit? He must be smart but in a dumb way. 

5. Florida man throws hot dog at police and gets arrested. He must have been pretty angry. 

6.Florida man breaks INTO jailhouse to hangout with friends. Gotta do what you gotta do. He was quickly restrained and taken into custody. I don’t think he was able to hangout with his friends. After it was posted on social media everyone wanted to know if he was allowed to stay, but sadly maybe not. 

7.Florida man tries to get out of arrest by cartwheeling away from cops. Supposedly he was stopping traffic and police tried to restrain him but he got away. He didn’t get very far with the cartwheels. Maybe he thought he was the lead in an action movie. 

8.Florida man protects car from a hurricane by parking it in his kitchen. How’d he get it in there? Who knows. Did it work? Yes. He said he couldn’t afford a new car and he wanted to impress his wife by proving to her that it would fit in the kitchen. She was in fact impressed. 

9.Florida man arrested after calling cops when his cat was denied entry into a club. He might have just wanted his cat to experience something new. They must be best friends forever. 

10.Florida man gets tired of waiting at a hospital and steals an ambulance to drive home. He was only there for 2 hours. He seems impatient. Did he make it home? Who knows. Was he caught? Yeah. As far as we’re aware, he went back to the hospital. He was able to get 8 miles away though.