I don’t target my words of wisdom to any direct audience, but most often these things exit my mouth when: I’m in a class that I should be taking seriously, in front of people that I should be afraid of and my mom when she isn’t happy with me. After lots of practice I have learned, there is a major difference between something silly and something that is instigating a fight. The issue: I find instigating very entertaining. After lots of examining, and thinking about the words I say out loud, I have decided to make rules for jokes, hoping to not prove that I am in fact the joke.

Rule #1- Acknowledge What You Take Offense To 

This rule is extremely important for a few reasons; one being that if your “joke” is an attack on someone, just know they will come back at you with something harsher and hopefully you can take it. I won’t list the other reasons but instead I’ll leave some advice, which is: Just don’t take offense (not including anything about background, race, gender, etc.). I’m talking about petty things that are just not that deep if you just don’t make them deep. This is a little funny, because I used to take offense to everything but, over time, I’ve learned nothing is that deep and words do not mean anything if they come from people that you do not have great words for either. My favorite feeling is being unphased by everything and when you are unphased it gives you more brain power to come up with something “funny”-may or may not be an unhealthy coping mechanism I’ve adapted.

Rule #2- Know Your Audience 

This is also extremely important because you don’t want to be the one to waste a good joke on someone who doesn’t deserve it. The goal of the dumb words that come out of my mouth are not to offend, but simply to entertain. The best way I can explain this rule is by leaving an example: I know a boy that takes everything I say so literally and has no problem attempting to insult me, and he often is the victim of my “jokes”. That is because I know he has to be humbled, and the best way I can do my job and humble him is by gassing him with my amazing jokes. One would say instigating, but I would say funny! 

Rule #3- Stay Calm And Humble

  You have to stay calm, or, in other words, just don’t think about what you are about to say. I like to say that your “joke” has been cooking too long and is now burned if you’ve actually thought about it, instead just say it and keep it raw! Staying humble is ideal, you have to have the right balance of immaturity and confidence. Immature because that’s what you are and confident because you are going to have some confidence in yourself to come up with these “jokes.”

Hurray!! Three rules in and you know how to be a certified comedic genius! 605 words in and I’ve learned: I am in fact the Joke.