Our Dearest Bathje,

Our hearts ache with yearning

We await your return in the somber silence left in your wake

We are but rats in a labyrinth, lost without your guidance

These phony substitutions could never quench our hearts’ desire

Seconds become minutes, minutes become hours, hours become days, days become weeks, weeks become months, months become years, years become decades, decades become centuries, centuries become bicentennials… you get the point

To look into your eyes is to gaze upon an infinitely captivating jewel

Every second without you is a second wasted in an all-too-short class period

It is only now that you’re gone that we realize how reckless we were to take you for granted

The day of your return will be a grand reawakening of our joy

Seriously, we really really really really miss you

Greatest fondness and adoration,

–The Scoop Staff